I've had this debate with dozens of rude people.  After saying something insulting, they follow up with phrases like, "I'm just being real!" or "Don’t be so insulted, I’m just telling the truth."

NEWS FLASH: Real and rude are two entirely different things.

What I talk about in my keynotes and what I teach in my training is superior communication.  This includes everything from foot movement, to body angles, the positioning of extremities, color changes, breathing patterns, facial cues, tone and pace of speech, and word choice.  All of these things and more add up to deliver our messages to one another.

The self-proclaimed realists are, in my opinion, lazy.  There is nothing easier than blurting out whatever thought occurs in response to a question or even as an unsolicited opinion. 

Great communicators take a beat and deliver contrary opinions or lousy news with care and respect for the other person.  This takes time, thought, and empathy.

The realists tell me that "Beating around the bush is weak and stupid."  They disparage great communicators as being too soft and sugar coating the truth.

I understand that.  I do see passive-aggressive types who circle the truth and hint at it hoping to make a point without actually making it.  That's not useful either.

Thoughtful communication is neither rude nor vague.  It's kind and considerate.

It's about imagining the outcome of your words for a nanosecond before you say them.  It's listening well, maintaining eye contact, being physically centered and, Joe Biden aside, it sometimes includes light touches when appropriate.  In other words, great communicators are wholly engaged and because of the bond that creates, they wouldn't, they couldn't, deliver a dissenting opinion rudely.

Own Your Sales Gene…