She earned the right.  Earning the right is an expression I’ve been using in business for thirty years. I don’t know where I picked it up, but it continues to resonate with me today.  

Roseann offers Fred some criticism. Fred smiles and thinks it through for a moment. He and Roseann spitball a few ideas; he takes a note or two and returns to work intent on doing better.

Bill offers Jacki the same criticism. Jacki folds into herself visibly. She puts up a listening posture that is “just enough” to keep Bill believing he is getting through and self-talks over his diatribe, praying for the end so she can implement just enough of what Bill wants to keep him at bay.

Let me tell you a little about Roseann and Bill.

Roseann has a resting countenance that is best described as approachable and congenial. She is frequently complementary and knows Fred’s kid’s names. Roseann has high standards and does not accept slipshod work.

When you go into Roseann’s office for a quick meeting, she makes a point of closing her laptop and turning toward you, face to face, with nothing between you and nothing to distract her.  

Roseann’s team has been with her for many years.

Bill is what we call type A. He hasn’t got time for all this soft skills nonsense. Bill tells it like it is and does not mince words. 

Bill’s not there to make friends; he’s there to run a business and make sure things get done right. He prides himself on his ability to multi-task and is the busiest person he knows. Bill looks for what’s wrong, like there’s a cash prize for finding it. Bill thinks that finding everything wrong and pointing it out will result in better work and higher profits as he identifies and “fixes” it.

Bill suffers a lot of turnover and believes that people don’t want to work hard and are only as loyal as their paycheck can stretch them.

Have you earned the right to be effectively heard?

• Earning the right to object comes from resisting the urge to object too often.

• Earning the right to criticize comes from earnestly complimenting more often than you criticize.

• Earning the right to ask for favors comes from supporting those around you without seeking favor.

• Earning the right to express displeasure comes from habitually finding pleasure in your surroundings

• Earning the right to speak comes from listening with an open mind

When I meet frustrated employers and managers who can’t get folks to listen and improve, it’s almost always because they spend all of their time trying to make folks listen and improve. This is a real conundrum for the unenlightened.  

Leaders like Roseann know that earning the right yields strong results and keeps people producing even when they aren’t looking, and their businesses grow.

The Bills of the world will continue to swear that it’s the people they hire that somehow always come up short and disappoint them, and they know that when the cat is away, the mice will play. Their businesses are seldom scalable.