To communicate well, one must develop a high positive regard for others. That is the absolute cornerstone of charismatic communication.  

It’s not a judgment or a feeling. It’s a decision. You can decide to be interested in anyone. You can choose to have regard for them. Not for their station in life or some accomplishment you deem worthy of respect but because you’ve decided that this other human you’re encountering is deserving of your attention.

After all, it is attention that we all crave. 

I’m not talking about seeking the approval of the masses or looking for the limelight. I’m talking about the profoundly human need to be seen and feel appreciated. 

If you can evoke that feeling of appreciation and gratitude for the person you’re speaking with, magic happens, and you’re both under a spell. The more genuine interest you show in someone, the higher the esteem in which they hold you. 

There are no shortcuts. Listening with rapt attention takes time.

Doing this half-assed or pretending to care to get what you want will undoubtedly work some of the time. I know unctuous, unscrupulous business people who never seem to run out or unwitting marks to take advantage of, but living that way is like eating a pound of plain boiled pasta.  

It will fill you up, but it doesn’t compare with the satisfaction of lingering over a nice bowl of Bolognese. (a nod to Paterno)

Boiling a pound of pasta takes about ten minutes. Making a good Bolognese takes a few hours, AND IT IS WORTH IT!

Own Your Sales Gene…