I remember when I met Bill Clinton. I was in a receiving line with a few hundred other people waiting to shake hands with the president. We were in the Buildings Museum in Washington, DC, at a scholarship dinner for The Order of Sons and Daughters of Italy in America. This was in the mid-nineties as I began my study of NLP and communication. Through my charity work, I have been fortunate to meet many famous people like Robert De Niro, Rudy Giuliani, Rita Moreno, and others. I mention this not as a name dropper but to offer perspective. I was not one to get star-struck and expected that meeting Mr. Clinton would be like meeting many other famous folks; exciting and memorable but not overwhelming. I could not have been more wrong. When I shook his hand, I went weak in the knees. I was utterly bowled over by his presence. He is the single most charismatic person I have ever encountered.

After spending many years studying charisma and trying to reverse engineer it and so many other elements of rapport, I understand what happened at that moment with the president.

In my seminars, I teach the six-step NLP technique for meeting people. Open, eye, beam, hi, lean, name, and name again. Open is facing someone heart to heart. Eye means eye contact. Beam means smile, and hi means to utter a greeting. Then we lean in slightly to create a sense of intimacy, and after the introduction, we say the person’s name a couple of times. Despite having to greet hundreds of people when Mr. Clinton met me, he ensured I felt like the only person in the room. He did each of the six steps magnificently and offered all his attention to me exclusively. I’m sure it felt extra charged because he was the president, but still, he could have mailed it in. He could have shaken each hand quickly without squaring up, smiling, and locking eyes.

It would have been understandable for him to move through the line, but he didn’t. He gave me 100% of his attention for a few moments during that greeting, and it was awesome.

What does it feel like when someone looks past you when you meet, stands with their shoulder toward you, or glances at their phone? It feels the opposite of what I felt with Bill Clinton.

Practice the six steps.

I can’t promise folks will get weak in the knees, but I can promise that they will come away feeling very good about you,