I read a lot about mindset. I know that the modern school of positive psychology teaches us to be kinder to ourselves. I know that we have a natural negativity bias and tend to remember the failures over the wins, the rejections more poignantly than acceptances. I begin all of my coaching sessions (as my coach, The Great Jane Atkinson, taught me) by asking my clients for wins. I subscribe to the notion that I need to curb the diatribe that can sometimes run on a loop in my head, letting me know that the bad outcomes I experience are what I should expect because of who I am and my lack of this or that.

I align with modern psychology and a positive mindset…to a point. I also believe in that great modern philosopher Iron Mike Tyson who said, “You gotta have some doubt, or you’re gonna be in a lotta trouble.”

So while I want to remember my wins, and I want to believe I can do it, and don my cloak of confidence, I also want a little bit of Tyson in the mix. I want to feel a little fear, a little doubt. I want to feel those things to anticipate what may go wrong and have a contingency plan.

I don’t want to berate the losing team, but I don’t want to give them trophies either. I don’t want them to dwell on the loss, but I want them to learn from it. I understand the need for a “Can Do” mindset, and I practice that with affirmations, visualizations, and reviews of past successes, but I don’t want to toss a valuable tool like doubt out the window.  

I’ve come to accept self-doubt and criticism as one of the techniques I employ to achieve my best outcomes. The key is that I recognize and use the tool. The difference-maker is that I can see clearly, the excellent results. I see myself crushing it on stage, but the doubt I feel during prep, the recriminations I allow to creep in, are what drives me to write and rewrite and practice until it’s in my bones and I have chased all but a tiny sliver of self-doubt away. I believe that sliver, as Iron Mike said, will keep me from getting in a lot of trouble.

What do you think? 

How do you manage the voice in your head and your own negative biases? I’m curious to know. 

Own Your Sales Gene…