In NLP, being in "uptime" means giving all of one's attention to another. Think about how your dog looks at you when holding a treat for him. That's uptime. 100% of his attention is on you.

In my live seminars, we do an exercise to illustrate the effectiveness of uptime. We send half of the participants out of the room. When they return, we pair them off. We ask the folks who were outside to tell a deeply personal story. They don't know that while they were out in the hallway, we instructed their partners in anti-uptime. That is, we told them to listen well for 20 seconds or so and then check their cell phone.

Then, give their attention back to the speaker.

After another 10 seconds or so, we instructed them to look beyond the speaker, out into the room a bit.

They continue to listen and drift until we call time.

We then ask the storytellers to report on the experience. Invariably they tell us how awful it was. They talk about how they felt disrespected and thought the listeners were rude. Often, because they were sharing a personal story, the speakers feel hurt or angry even though they know they're in a seminar and that their partner's poor listening posture is likely an affectation!

We live in a world designed with distractions. It seems that in every office, bar, and restaurant, imposing screens surround us, flashing images meant to get our attention, and wherever we are, that little screen is calling from our pockets.

Deep rapport requires uptime. Regardless of the ubiquity of the habit, it's not OK to grab your phone and say, "just one second, let me hit a quick reply here," while in the middle of a conversation.

Uptime takes focus and effort, and I guarantee it's worth it.

Uptime is step one in charismatic communication. Give it a try, and let me know how it changes things for you.

Own Your Sales Gene…