I know I'm blowing a dog whistle. I know it every time I step on stage or show up to offer a workshop. The soft skills I harp on, which, when practiced, can help make you a relationship ninja, will not be heard by all and will be practiced by fewer. Habits are tough to break, and many of us have communication habits that are deeply rooted. 

Those communication styles are not necessarily ineffective. If you continue to employ a particular strategy, you will likely do so because it has worked for you. 

For example, I know leaders who keep employees on edge by leading with a stick while keeping the carrot hidden. I've seen this work – to a point. The businesses these fearmongers run often make money, but unfortunately, employee loyalty is only about as deep as their pockets are.

It isn't that it's hard to learn new techniques, but it may be hard to employ them. Habits, as I said, can be tough to overcome. Triggers often cause a reaction before we can think and engage in our new learning. 

Take A Breath. 

That pause between thought and speech is only a nanosecond, but it may define the conversation's outcome and, ultimately, your relationships.  

Asking questions, actively listening, asking even more profound questions, and listening some more are the main ingredients that create likeability, charisma, trust, and rapport. And likeability, charisma, trust, and rapport are the secret sauce for a meaningful, successful life.

I hate that guy!  All he ever does is listen to me! Said no one, ever.

Own Your Sales Gene…