We see what we believe. This is one of the most challenging communications concepts to adopt and master. But it is essential if one is to become a deft communicator. The very notion that you and I can disagree about what happened during an incident that we both witnessed is out of the realm of reality for much of the population. Most folks know what they saw and are rock solid that you must be nuts if your interpretation is different.

“Wow, Steve’s a great guy; he always shows up with a big hello and smile.”

“Wow, Steve’s such a phony, always showing up with an over-the-top hello and that fake smile.”

We’re not talking about whether one is jaded or naïve. Steve may well fit either one of those assessments. Which is correct is beside the point.

We’re talking about the ability to allow the possibility that an assessment that is not yours may have merit. There are gradients of this. A great communicator permits the idea that she may be wrong and makes a note to investigate Steve’s motivations more deeply in the future to either validate, modify, or dispel her original impression. A great communicator doesn’t flip-flop to another’s view but instead lets an opposite view reside in her assessing consciousness for further review. She may ask you why you hold that opposite impression and weigh what she knows about your ability to assess and interpret what you’ve seen with what her gut tells her she saw.

Lots of this happens quickly and in the background of conscious thoughts. (Much like Windows is running things on my computer, but I only see the Word and Excel docs open before me.) It is the notion that I may not have seen what I thought I saw that I want to adopt firmly. I need to allow space for the possibility that your opposite view may be correct.

I don’t want to lose my confidence; I don’t want to think that everyone else is more intelligent than me; I want to respect the idea that biases exist and that I don’t believe what I see; I see what I believe.

Own Your Sales Gene…