Likeability is the most vital component of success. What do I mean by success?  All of it – good friendships, health, strong family bonds, and a few shekels to play with.

In the words of the immortal Zig Zigler: “I want all of the things money can’t buy and some of what it can.”

Likeability has something to do with how you look but a lot more to do with how you act and how you make people feel.  The look part isn’t just about beauty, though. I admit that “pretty people” get liked first and judged later. By look, I mean your countenance.

When I was a newly minted manager in the early 80s, I was serious about success, so serious that I came into the office each day with a serious look on my face. After hearing too many people begin the day with, “Frank, are you OK?” or, “Frank, what’s wrong?” I realized that I had to make an adjustment. Our office was in Times Square, and I had to pass the NY Times clock each day as I walked to work. I decided to use that clock as a reminder. I made a deal with myself. Each day, when I saw that open face, I opened mine. (Today, they call it a resting bitch face.) Do people ask you if everything is OK? Do they ask if you’re OK? Do they ask you what’s wrong?  If so, you may be carrying an RBF. Here’s my other trick for setting your face: eyebrow pops.  Try it now. Raise your eyebrows up high. It almost induces you to smile. I do this whenever I feel like I’m in my head too much and am walking into any place other people are.  It works all the time.

How you carry yourself is the first part of likeability. Next is how you make people feel. My motto this year is “See who, not through.  Go ahead, make someone’s day.” That is my reminder to stop for a beat with the cashier at the dollar store or the gas station attendant.  I want to stop a beat, make eye contact, smile, and offer a sincere hello. Then, while holding that eye contact, I ask a question or offer a comment/compliment. I want to see them. It’s easy to see through them. The transaction occurs without a thought. Then you’re off to your next errand, and they’re on to their next customer. It’s harmless, right? But think of the power of continually connecting – of taking a moment to make someone feel good about themselves. It certainly has an excellent effect on them, but guess what? It will change you, too. This practice of setting your face and seeing people – really seeing them- will increase your likelihood of achieving likeability and infiltrate every part of your life. You will be happier AND more successful. I guarantee it.

Own Your Sales Gene…