When you dream, dream big and out loud.  I used to shout this mantra while I jogged: “I will be a published author and well-known speaker and support my family doing what I love.”

I write goals every year.  I write down big monthly themes in large, colorful fonts across the top of my planning page. I imagine myself larger than life, in full color, doing the things I dream about doing.  I’m like Coppola directing the film “Future Me” while I watch it in the private screening room of my mind.

But when I plan…I imagine abject failure. I begin any plan, seeing myself as having failed miserably and feeling the pain of a very public humiliation.  I sit in that failure and let it wash over me like a putrid discharge from some fetid stream above me.  I watch myself in the film, stumbling across the stage, inappropriately dressed for the event, slides not working, forgetting the poignant story I’d hoped to tell, and committing some social faux pas as the crowd gasps in horror and disapproval.

Once fully immersed in that misery, I open a new blank page, and across the top, in bold caps, I write, “If only I would have…”

Then, as I read that phrase repeatedly, I make a list from the perspective of having failed. 

·       If only I would have emailed my presentation ahead of time as a backup

·       Asked how the crowd would likely dress

·       If only I would have tested their system with my computer

·       If only I would have rehearsed out loud every morning last week

·       If only I would have avoided the vino and gone to be early on the eve of the presentation

·       If only I would have…

The answers to the “if only I would have…” are the plan.

The promise of gain pales as a motivator when juxtaposed with the fear of loss.

If I limit my snacks, lose some weight, and exercise regularly, the promise is that I will live a longer and healthier life. Some folks do it.  Most don’t. BUT after the first heart attack?

Dreaming big is important.  Make big, hairy, audacious goals.  Stretch yourself.  If you shoot for the moon and miss, you’ll be among the stars. But when planning, imaging beautiful outcomes limits your ability to stave off possible problems. When planning, imagine everything that can go wrong, plan to be sure they don’t, and have contingencies in place in case they do.

I learned “If only I would have…” back in the 90s from an excellent audio program by Peter Thompson called “Secrets of the Great Communicators,” I have used it with teams and alone ever since.  It is brilliant.

We all want to dream big, and I encourage you to do so. Just remember what I said about fear of loss.  It is the only good motivator.  We may walk toward our dreams, but we run like hell to avoid trouble.

Remember this, too, in business deals. There is Black Friday and Cyber Monday for a reason. It isn’t Black November or Cyber December. They sell FOMO. We buy on those days because we fear losing a significant discount.  We don’t buy nearly as much during the spring sale with promises of lovely new fashions available, do we? 

Getting back to plans, be sure to begin, as Stephen Covey said, with the end in mind. I prefer imaging all of the things that can go wrong and then planning to have them go right, but you can certainly imagine a successful end and walk it back, documenting the steps you took to get there.

In the end, it depends on you.  I am too optimistic to imagine a good outcome and then create the proper plan to get there.  My core belief is “Everything always works out for Frankie,” so I need to guard myself against myself and plan from a perspective of catastrophe avoidance. Tap into yourself, realize your proclivities, and then plan accordingly.  You may not have to imagine failure as extreme as I do, but please imagine bad outcomes and plan to avoid them.  Dream big, BUT plan for obstacles.