#1171 I Don’t Have Time
A Reminder: My new podcast, Selling in the Age of AI, has dropped. This week, I spent time with Anthony DelGrosso. Anthony is a regional VP for Milner Inc. and has used technology in conjunction with great human instincts in a successful sales management career. Selling in the Age of AI is available wherever you listen to podcasts.
Now for this week: I Don’t Have Time!
Yes, you do. Alexi Pappas, a Greek-American runner, Olympian, filmmaker, actor, and writer, said it best.
“I don’t have enough time is not a useful phrase when it comes to anything related to your dream. It’s okay to actively choose to do something or not, but don’t blame time.”
This relates to my post #1168 entitled Values. Not having time to work out means you don’t value fitness as much as you value whatever you’re doing instead.
Not having time to visit your Mom or Dad is an active choice.
“I don’t have time to make a good meal.” No, you choose fast food.
Everything we have and everything we are is the culmination of the choices we’ve made.
“I can’t work out. I have to work two jobs to pay the mortgage.”
“I choose to live in an expensive home, and I value the home I chose more than I value my time., relationships, and hobbies.”
My point here is that we bullshit ourselves constantly. We believe we were deprived of opportunities, but truthfully, we made choices that prevented the opportunities.
I don’t need to sell you on subscribing to my values. I don’t care if you value money more than people or afternoon movies more than exercise or cooking your own food over fast food.
These are your choices, and I cannot judge. What I can do is identify that they are choices. Perhaps not well thought out; maybe you didn’t even know you were making the choices, but choose you did.
My friend Rick is worth twenty times what I am worth financially. He has a couple of vacation homes and a Maserati and jets off to Europe or Asia to see the sights, first class, whenever he chooses.
Rick tried to recruit me 30 years ago to get on the same career track he was on. He tempted me with the possibility of huge earnings, Then he told me he starts his day at a breakfast meeting at 7 AM, works in his specific niche in the financial markets until 5 or so. Meets with the team for an hour and then meets clients for a Knick game or a dinner. When he gets home around 10 PM, he checks the overseas markets for an hour or two and then gets a few hours of sleep and starts again.
I chose to be poorer than Rick is. I chose to eat dinner at home most of the time, coach my kids' teams, show up at recitals, spend time with my wife, see friends, hunt, fish, and work out. This was a conscious choice for me, just like working and doing the opposite of this was a conscious choice of Rick’s.
Rick laments losing his first wife and the relationship with his kids from that marriage, but he’s married again, has another kid, seems pretty happy, and loves being rich.
Sometimes, I imagine what it would be like to fly private, belong to an ultra-exclusive country club for 150K a year, and have a few vacation homes, but I don’t fool myself. I chose the things I valued when Rick chose money. We both got what we wanted.
His family is not as intact, close, and happy as mine, and my entire net worth wouldn’t sustain his lifestyle for more than a year.
I had the time to make more money than I did. He had the time to coach his kids and have dinner with his family, but that isn’t what we chose.
I’m not poor, and Rick isn’t lonely. The difference is degrees, and the choices we made add up to the lives we each have. I have no regrets and I don’t hear Rick expressing any either.
My values keep me from envying Rick. He lost his first wife (who was a peach!) and is only in touch with one of the children they had together. Rick probably doesn’t envy me either. He can’t imagine flying commercial or golfing at a public course, and he loves his second wife and the son they had together,
I feel like I’ve strayed from the Alexi quote I started this post with. She was talking about using time as an excuse that takes you away from your dreams. I just wanted to give a live example of some of the uses of time and the results and emphasize that Rick and I both got what we went after.
Rick never used time as an excuse. He worked tirelessly and toward one thing: being very rich, and he got it. It isn’t that he did not have time for his family or his health. He had plenty of time; he just used it to make more money. Again, there is no judgment here. I don’t judge the billionaire or the guy living hand to mouth. I don’t judge the unfit person or the estranged family members. I only want to say that it isn’t that they don’t have time to fit in anything else. It is that they choose to use their time for what they value most, and if you tell me it isn’t what they value most, I say, how sad is it that they’ve made these choices without real thought?
Think, choose, evaluate, rejig, think, and continue to choose. Most of all, recognize that you choose to use your time for the things you value most. Each action or lack thereof is a choice. Be cognizant of this so that you aren’t surprised/disappointed with the life you end up with.
Own Your Sales Gene…