#1024 Dissatisfaction and Complacency
Wanting to do better is the opposite of complacency, and it has a positive connotation.
Looking back with dissatisfaction is not complacent but has a negative bias.
It's OK to look back and examine what went wrong. Go ahead and sit in it. Let the negativity wash over you. Bathe in it if you'd like; go right ahead. Then get up and be done with it.
It is reasonable to feel lousy when something lousy happens; duh. It's fair to dwell on it…for a few minutes. Just long enough to evaluate it and glean a lesson from it. Then let it go. It's unreasonable and unhealthy to sit in it for too long. Like my Dad used to tell me about smoking, it stunts your growth.
Ruminating and pouring unhealthy emotion onto a bad memory makes it more poignant. Remember, acid corrodes the vessel that carries it. Do you want to corrode your own head?! (Bring up a walking dead image here to help drive this one home.)
Move away from it.
Think about what to do differently and start right where you are. And, if you fail, start exactly where you are again and again and again. It certainly isn't easy, but most worthwhile things aren't easy.
For some, letting go leaves them naked, stripped of the justification for stagnation. Again, this is not a psychology blog, and I cannot opine on PTSD. We're talking about personal development here; eliminating excuses and getting better at what we do day by day. Sitting in memory of what went wrong is like starting to build an ark on a rainy day. The building continues long after the rain has passed.
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