#1126 See Who, not Through

I hope this is not too self-aggrandizing because I will use myself as a positive example.  Think of this message as a life hack, like learning about the power of compounding interest.  Seeing who, not through, means taking the time to get to know everyone you encounter. 

I've been doing this for years.  I make it a point to introduce myself everywhere I go and to learn a little about the people who inhabit the world around me.  Whether it is Carol who rings me up at the dollar store, Roger for an oil change, or Julio who punches my ticket at the carwash, I attempt to engage with the people I interact with.  I do this for two reasons.  First, I love to be recognized, greeted, and made to feel special.  Julio greets me by name and with a smile.  He's glad to see me.  Julio doesn't own the carwash, and I only represent more work to him, but I know his name and that he plays soccer on the weekends. He likes it when I ask how his team is doing, and he gets to tell me about a particular goal or great defensive play he made.  That's the other reason I do this.  It makes Julio feel better to be seen.  He's not some nameless, faceless drone tapping a machine and tossing a ticket onto my dashboard.  He's Julio.  He's a soccer player, a hard worker, and a PERSON. Isn't it worth the minute or three I invest to allow Julio to be Julio to at least one patron?

There's a side benefit I never counted on, too. I get stuff: discounts, preferential treatment, and even gifts! 

When I go to the local tool rental and repair shop, I chat with Jay.  It turns out Jay and I are both into traditional Italian hobbies.  We both make limoncello, anisette, vino, and soppressata. Last week, when I needed my rototiller repaired, Jay not only found a nice discount for me when I picked it up, but he also had a cutting from one of his fig trees waiting for me.

This isn't uncommon for me. Victoria at the bakery always “throws in” a few of the biscotti she knows I love. Roger has squeezed me in immediately for a damaged tire while he is telling other people on the phone he is three days out for an appointment, and I sometimes get my wheels hand-cleaned and treated with Armorall even though I didn't order that service. (Thanks, Julio!)

To be fair, over time, I have done more than just seeing them.  Sometimes, I bring a box of cookies or a cup of coffee or tip a bit more than is expected, but that all happened after the fact.  Initially, it's just about getting to know people, and that would be enough.  Seeing Julio mundanely process one car after another while I wait in line makes me happy with anticipation, knowing he's going to light up when my vehicle approaches, and we're both going to smile and enjoy a moment together.

This brings me to my new, revised motto for 2024:

See who, not through.  Go ahead; make someone's day.