#991 Help! I've Been Hijacked!

A couple of weeks ago, I delivered a sales seminar via Zoom.

As usual, I added a good bit of NLP, to the learning. NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is broadly accepted as THE communication science and I find many of it’s techniques applicable in business and especially in sales.

In NLP, we have a term called uptime. To be in uptime is to give oneself over to listening with one’s entire being. It is beyond active listening and intends a more intense focus. People who practice uptime are perceived as charismatic, intelligent, likable, earnest, and are described with many more lovely superlatives. People love to be listened to.

There are many breaches of uptime that I like to discuss, but one in particular that seemed to delight the group at the seminar mentioned above is hijacking. 

Hijacking a conversation is all too common, especially among sales professionals. It happens almost seamlessly as one tries to relate to the exchange of another. Below I describe how I demonstrated hijacking during the seminar.

Me: Jane, how was your summer at the lake? Did you have a great time?

Jane: It was beautiful and tranquil. I totally recharged. I did a lot of paddle boarding and swimming.

Me: Oh my God!  I can remember swimming in a lake when I was a kid! It always felt weird. You know when you step on the bottom, and it’s slimy? Did that happen to you?

Jane: Yes

Me: That always gave me shivers! Or when you hit some seaweed or lake grass or whatever? It would run down your body. UGH. I remember trying to swim out to the floating dock without touching the bottom and hoping not to run into a patch of that seaweed!

Do you see what happened? I asked JANE about HER summer, and then I made it all about me and my summers because I was trying to relate.

There is nothing wrong with relating my experience per se; it’s just the timing. A good listener would have asked another few questions about Jane’s time on the lake and stayed in uptime. Wouldn’t that feel good to Jane? Isn’t it nice to be listened to? The phase I use is to wait for the popcorn to stop popping. Ask questions and express sincere interest, and when the popcorn stops popping, go ahead and relate to what you’ve heard.

Own Your Sales Gene…