#1079 STOP: Proceed with Caution
Read the room.
Know your audience.
Take the temperature.
Don’t be tone-deaf.
I’ve spent the better part of my life studying business relationships. Within that, I am especially keen on rapport building and charisma. Many folks believe that we come out of the womb shy or extroverted or with personality traits that make us magnetic or somewhat off-putting.
I don’t want to argue the “blank page” theory of birth regarding personalities, but I do want to say that likeability is a learned skill. Let me tell you a funny story of the misapplication of this learning.
I once had a sales rep named Mike. Mike lacked the sensitivity to read the room. He ignored the subtleties of dress, environment, body posture, tone, or pace. Mike plunged straight into his pitch without warning or warm-up.
I spent time teaching Mike about rapport building. I told him he needed to get to know people before he tried to sell them. I explained that being personal in a B2B situation was essential. After practicing some rapport-building and questioning, we hit the road together.
Mike, being the exuberant lad he was, jumped right in on our first call. We visited an old elderly attorney. The man had to be pushing ninety. His office was furnished like the set of Inherit the Wind, and his coarse wool suit, with wide lapels, a vest, and a gold watch chain, was draped on his diminishing frame like a sheet thrown on a piece of furniture at a country cabin in the off-season. He greeted us brusquely, looked at his pocket watch, and said, “What is it you want, young fella?” Mike, who evidently saw none of what I saw nor heard what I heard in the greeting, opened with, “Nice to meet you, Bernard. Tell me, was your father a big influence on you becoming a lawyer?”
Bernard looked like he was trying to translate for a speech-impaired foreigner. He squinted at Mike and said, “I have no time for this. Get out of my office.”
In his rush to apply the new learning, Mike made the cardinal sin of rapport building, going too fast and trying too hard.
We can learn a lot by observing our surroundings and assessing people’s posture and speech patterns. It takes time and practice. We all know charismatic people for whom the world seems to open like a flower in every encounter. We too often assume they were born with the magic touch, but just like watching a great concert pianist, know that the level of expertise you are witnessing was developed over time with practice. Charisma is a learnable skill that takes practice and patience, but it’s worth it.
Own your Sales Gene…
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